


Expecto Patronum

by MalaQadoo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Other, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28930833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalaQadoo/pseuds/MalaQadoo
Summary: In the battlefield of the war in hogwarts, the ones that have lost everything in a moment of hate and loathe reflects on their deeds.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Original Female Character(s)





	Expecto Patronum

**Author's Note:**

> This is a small one shot fiction that I wrote about the family drama and fights and how forgiveness is earned in the end. The characters aren't actually from the Harry Potter book, only the concept of universe is taken. Hope you enjoy it. If not... Please don't hate me.

The ground shook with immense force, and the faint sound of hundreds of beasts thumping their huge feet could be heard. I licked my dry lips and swallowed the rising emotions. I looked around and saw others standing still, knowing what was coming. No one could escape the inevitable. The sky darkened and mist covered the area. We were on the open grounds, completely vulnerable to the dangers. Several heads looked at each others, and silent communication and nods were passed. I looked around, trying to spot one black headed person, and there. He was standing still, and one look at his face, I froze. He's scared. He looked at me and we locked our eyes. He was scared, but not for himself. He was afraid of losing us, losing the only family he had. The friends who he would so called, "die for". He feared of losing his friends. The family that I couldn't give him. For the first time, I saw fear in his eyes. I knew I wasn't any better. I looked as scared and vulnerable as everyone. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and several gasps were heard. Bone chilling gusts of air ripped through our bodies. I glanced up the grey, darkened sky and froze. Hooded figures gliding and flying in circles above several hundred feets. They were slowly but steadily approaching the surface, hungry for happiness. Dementors…   
Those were dementors. The dark creature who would leave a hollow husk behind once it's finished feeding. Feeds upon our memories.   
Dementors… they're here… demons…  
I looked around and saw others pale as white as a sheet, and wondered is that how I'm looking too?   
Scared. Afraid. Terrified.  
I tried to keep myself calm, but to no use. Fear was clawing at my chest, wanting to break and take control. Taking deep, shallow breaths, I calmed myself and tried to think of the situation. The enemies were near, and so is the army of various dark creatures. They were probably in hundreds and we have to fight them. I knew hundreds versus tens wasn't a fair fight. It wasn't fair. No one deserved to die a horrible death here. Everyone was here to win, here to fight for the future. A future without darkness. Everything was silent except for the faint thumping noise, which seemed to get louder and louder. I turned my head and looked at the others. A few of them were hugging each others, locked in the warmth of their embrace. I felt something stirred inside of me. Was it jealousy? Or self pity? I didn't know. Was it worth it anyways? All of this? We all had tried so hard, so hard. What does that mean to our enemies? Don't they feel pity for us? Don't they know what struggle to live really feel like?   
No, they don't.   
A part of me wanted to embrace my friends too. The ones whom I knew since first year and beyond that. My fellow slytherins were standing mere a few feet from me, but none of them moved to embrace each other in goodbyes. None of them. Others might think that we were too cold hearted, yet that wasn't the whole scenario. None of us wanted to say goodbye.   
The ground shook with more force and several booming noises echoed as many walls of the castle collapsed under the force. Even hogwarts could feel the threat and the inevitable. Together with some screams and gasps of suprise, I shouted out only one name. He didn't answered. Panicked, I desperately looked all around me, running here and there. Looking for someone I knew. My brother. I couldn't see him anywhere. He was simply gone from where I last saw him. I started to shout his name for a umpteenth time, hoping for a answer… None came. Fear doubled over a hundred folds inside me. More booming noises and loud explosions rang in my ears. I was terrified. I was scared. It escaped my notice that none of the others looked exactly calmed too. Though noone was panicking like me. None.   
Only one thought ran over and over again in my head.   
"Let's run away".   
Suddenly halting my feet, I stood still. My breaths were coming in shallow gasps and my eyes drew wide. I didn't wanted to here anymore.   
Let's run away.   
Loud chants were recited, meaning that the battle had already started. Gripping my wand tightly as if holding the hope of safety, I watched as the others recited the enchanting and spells. One caught my attention, and I tried to listen closely.   
"Expecto patronum!"   
The patronus charm. The Only one that I couldn't master. Maybe too many memories that I didn't know what to think of hindered this ability. Pity…  
"Crucio!" someone suddenly enchanted the unforgivable. Ear piercing screams ripped from the victim. I froze, terrified. Someone was out there, being tortured. Losing their minds slowly. Fear gripping my senses, my subconscious screamed at me.   
"LET'S RUN AWAY!"   
I shook my head, trying to refuse it and shut it up. I tried to think of the ways to get to my brother, but everything was in total chaos inside my head. My eyes were drawn wide at the next words.   
"GET OUT! GET OUT! PLEASE! RUN!"   
My blood ran cold at that moment, and suddenly, nothing mattered. Nothing was important, except for the fact that I wanted to escape.   
Escape. Escape from here. A way out from here. Let me breathe. I wanna LIVE.   
Every single emotion ran free, and I knew no more…   
I didn't know when I had turned my feet and ran with all my might. I had run, passing through the crowds and colliding into several. I didn't notice someone calling my name. Someone running after me, desperately screaming my name, telling me to stop.  
"PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!", someone was shouting from behind, trying to reach me. That someone was my brother. I didn't notice… 

When I came back into my senses, I noticed I wasn't in the grounds anymore. It was dark all around me, and I was sitting on the cold floor, knees drawn to my chest and hands wrapped around my head. I blinked, and everything came flooding back into my mind.   
I ran…I had just turned my back on my friends… I have become a traitor… to my only friends.   
I had somehow lost all my senses, and ran away from the battlefield.   
Coward… a true slytherin I am…   
and a disgrace to all too…   
I just sat on the cold ground, and closed my eyes and threw back my head as it rested against the wall, desperately trying to escape the reality, hoping I was in a dream… a nightmare. After a while, gathering all my senses, I stood up.   
I stood up in the darkened room, and tried to see where I actually was. Even in the dark, I could see the outline of the objects around me. The room was small. In the corner, there was a big cupboard. Narrowing my eyes and looking closely, I realized where I was exactly….   
The room of requirements…   
The vanishing cabinet. It was the vanishing cabinet in the corner. I wondered what it was doing here, and why did the mysterious room of requirements opened up for me. Why was the cabinet here? I certainly do not need that right now. I just wanted to escape, wanted to leave….   
Oh.   
The cabinet would take me to borgins and Burks. I can run away. I can….   
No.   
What was that? I did wanted to run away… run away from here. Never come back. Maybe live like a muggle. I can live. But I'll be alone…   
I will be alone.  
All of the sudden, I realized something. Remembered something far more important than Living.   
My brother. He's somewhere down there. He's fighting for us. He's somewhere in the grounds. My lips threatened to give a small tug.   
How very typical of him… some   
gryffindor courage he has.   
Pity I'm a slytherin. Maybe I did belong in hufflepuff….No, even a hufflepuff wouldn't just run away. They'll rather die. Maybe the rumors were true after all. I was never supposed to be here. This is something only I could do.   
This darkened, small room was my refuge. My safe haven. Only I had guts to turn away from them.   
You're a coward, you know….   
But, what have you got to lose?  
Huh? What I got to lose? Everything.   
I'm going to lose everything. What good would world be if I'll just die pathetically. If I'll just die, nothing is left behind. A bitter laugh ripped through my mouth, and the dark room didn't seemed dark anymore. The shouts and screaming could be heard, though it was faint. Almost giving the perfect impression of detachment from the world. People were dying out there. Sacrifices were made out there. My friends were fighting out there, not for themselves… no one was fighting to survive. They were fighting for each other. Everyone was fighting for the future of others. They all wanted to have their loved ones live another day.   
Just like my brother.   
How very brave of him.   
He's stubborn, and never listened to what I say. Needless to say, he was still my brother. And he was fighting for me. A sister who didn't know how to love. I was a fool. A fool who knew nothing about love. A fool who knew what betrayal felt like. At that moment, I realized what I was lacking. It wasn't love. It wasn't courage either.   
Expecto patronum.   
Expecting happiness.   
Tears rolled down my face, and soft but desperate sobs threatened to tear through my chest and heart. In this world. happiness is a weapon. I just hadn't realized how to use it till now. Memories of those lively days can become a weapon…. Dementors.   
A smile broke finally broke free, and I knew I was grinning like a madman. Nothing matters in this world,but then every single breathing moment did. I couldn't just give up and stay hidden. I might be a slimy slytherin, a grey wizard, but I won't give up. I took control of my senses and gathered myself. Afterall…   
I'm a slytherin, I might be a coward,   
but never helpless. There is fear.   
But there's something worth protecting… the memories… And who gave them to me… and I've got nothing to lose…….   
Expecto patronum…   
I ran out of the room and into the open corridors. The sky was still dark and grey. I looked all around me with fierce determination, keeping an eye out for dangers lurking in the shadows. I ran down the fleeting stairs and reached the 3rd floor. Suddenly, I heard some commotion somewhere near the ending, and reached down my robes to pull out my wand. I froze.   
There was no wand there. I didn't have my wand. I must have dropped it somewhere when I had ran away and cursed under my breath for my stupidity. I slowly crept away from the corner and hide behind some cupboards. The commotion was drawing near, and I could hear someone panting, instantly understanding that there was someone who was walking down the corridor, or rather… running. The noise of boots thumping the wooden floor was drawing closer. I peeked from behind, and saw that someone was running from something. The shadows has hid the face as well as the something behind him. At first, I couldn't see what it was… Then it hit me… A dementor. The person quickly took a sharp turn around the corner and ran into a room. A clicking sound echoed and the door was locked. Half amused at the mere display of keeping out the dementor, I tried to think of keeping myself out of trouble for now. I quickly hide behind the cupboards and bent down to keep a low profile. The dementor was slowly glidding through the air and approaching our hiden places.   
"I need my wand." I whispered under my breath. I desperately needed it. Suddenly, a scream pierced through the closed door, and soft sobs were heard in between. I knew what had happened. It's in there.   
I NEED MY WAND! PLEASE! WAND! ACCIO WAND! ACCIO WAND!   
Desperate measures calls for desperate times, and I repeatedly recited the words through my head, and closed my eyes, focusing only on the fact that I NEED MY WAND! It was a fruitless attempt as I knew it wasn't possible to summon my wand like that. I wanted my magic to listen to me, and help me. Just then… I heard a small clinking sound of wood hitting the floor and slamming of a window. Hoping it was what I need and desired right now, I opened my eyes and looked around. Immediately recognizing the similar object laying near the closed window of the room, I nearly cried with relief. I through my body towards my wand, and with outstretched arms, hands gripped around the wood and I stood up on my shaky legs, wand gripped tightly. Another scream roared and it drew me out of the shock. Running away from the cupboards and the shadows, I recited the words and recalled all the memories at my defense.   
Expecto patronum. Expecto patronum… 

Sitting on the wet grass, next to another person who happened to be my brother…  
Laying on the soft bed, my arms loosely hanging from the either side, and my only friends laughing softly at that days events….   
Then… my brother yelling at me, telling me how wrong I am. How much he loathes me and my selfishness. How much he hates me…  
The echo of the slap…   
"filthy little gryffindor!"   
I spat at his face, and glared hard at him. Unknown to me was the fact that I had hurt the only brother, only family, I had…  
I was blinded by my own hands...  
I was a fool… who'll never know love or friendship….   
Regrets….   
Oh… I had so many regrets… but this was the biggest of them…   
I missed him so much.   
Memories of those happy times before we abandoned ondoned each other…  
Those laughs and the ones who gave them… Nothing can take those from me…  
…The hope of happiness...

"Alohomora!", the door gave away a clicking sound, and I pushed it open with a jerk. I quickly scanned the room and spotted the dementor howering in the air, bent over a small figure who was trying to put some distance between himself and the hideous creature but to no avail. I stood there, frozen in fear and horror. The dementor was huge and hideous. It was simply terrifying at the first sight. I couldn't see its face. At that moment, I came to see I was alone. I was alone, yet with everyone. No one was standing with me, yet I felt all of their presence warming me. Afterall, the ones we truly love never really leave us…  
I stood still, and raised my wand, pointing it to the dementor. Immediately, it turned its head and looked at me, straight in the eyes. My blood ran cold and I began to shake.  
Do it,, . Do it now!   
"Expecto patronum!" I whispered under my breath, and a few golden sparks escaped from the tip and hit the dementor. It backed away for a moment, and then began to glide furiously at me, ready to attack me and leave a husk behind.   
"Expecto patronum!" I spoke the enchant with more strength in my voice, and immediately, golden sparkling lights glowed prettily. It howered around me for a while, and then began to attack the hooded figure. It shrieked as the lights went inside of it, and a faint glow could be seen from the center. It stopped for a moment, and all of the sudden, it turned its head up and looked at me.  
It had grey eyes. Sickly greyed eyes that lacked the white. It was hollow. Chills went down my whole body. It was just like a demon. A truly terrific sight it was. I began to shake with terror, but kept my wand leveled.  
One more time…   
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"  
I shouted with the most stable voice I could muster, and with determination.   
Expect happiness…   
You'll feel alive again….   
A blinding light glowed from the tip of my wand, and I jerked it with one swift movement, allowing all the memories I had treasured flood through my mind. The golden strong lights escaped rapidly from the tip, and joined in the middle of the room. I watched in awe as the lights took a shape. It advanced towards the one lonely dementor and went inside of it. The creature shrieked, as the light inside of it grew.   
It glow was growing and so was the shrieking. A warm golden glow was emitting from the center of its body.   
As soon as it started, it ended. The creature shrieked one last time and exploded in the middle of the room. Tiny golden light were dancing in the air and slowly fading too. Soon enough it was all dark. There was no dementor anymore. Just me and the boy still sitting on the cold floor.   
" You did it.", he spoke softly.   
I felt myself stiffen at the sound. The voice was too familiar, and not familiar at all. I turned towards him and looked at him. Even in the darkened room, the black haired head was all I needed to see who it really was.  
My brother.   
Typical of him….  
I looked down at him, and thousands of questions rang in my head.   
Why is he here? How did he get here? And most importantly….   
Will he ever forgive me?  
Maybe. Maybe not. There's too much between us that needs to be forgotten and forgiven. I'll never love him again like I used to, and he'll never forget those times.  
"I knew you could do it." he said.   
I was surprised at those words. He almost sounded proud. A bitter laugh escaped through my lips.   
" Aren't you ashamed of me? I had just turned up to be a traitor to my friends and allies! I ran away, dumb head!" I was nearly shouting at the end, angry at myself for losing control like that.   
He simply looked at me in the eyes and spoke,   
" No, you returned. You never truly leave us you know… or me."  
It all made sense to me at that moment. Everyone was scared when I had ran away. Everyone was afraid.   
Everyone had a choice and I had  
to make mine.   
I turned away from him and started walking away, far away. Reaching the door, I stood there with my back turned to him. Without turning my head, I muttered,   
"It was you. Wasn't it? You came looking for me when you saw my wand laying outside. It was you…, who threw it, right?"   
A pause, then a faint yes was heard. My heart started to beat loudly, blood rushing into my ears.   
He came for me.   
I choked back my ranging emotions, and smiled a true smile after three years. I turned my head and looked back towards him. I searched for the lie in his voice and face, but found none. Tears brimming in the eyes and ready to fall, I quickly looked away. Raising my wand and swifting it it one fluid motion, I softly murmured,  
"Expecto… patronum…"   
Protect him.   
The glow immediately emitted from my wand and a patronus was casted.   
It glided through the thin air and then approached him, gently flying above his head. It was a Phoenix.   
Quickly, I walked away from the door and into the open corridor. The wind was blowing rather hard, a hurricane ready to unfold.  
Stay strong.   
Only then, did I really realize what choice I had made. Fear wasn't an option anymore. 

I'm going to fight rather than hide.   
Afterall…   
I've got nothing to lose…


End file.
